Want

What do you do with your want? I talked about this about a month ago in a high school Sunday School class. My prideful heart thought it was for the students. Turns out since that 1am writing session I haven’t been able to move away from this. We want things. We desire things. From new clothes to new jobs to relationships to free time. Fill in your own blank. What do you want? And what do you do with that desire? Scripture tells us not to be greedy, but it doesn’t tell us to squelch our desires. It tells us to take them to the Lord. To ask Him for things and He answers. I love that about Him.

Sometimes I’m not sure what to do with my want though. I want to be able to lean into it and for it to draw me to my Father, but if I am honest sometimes it just makes me anxious and confused. I look at my life right now (and its a life I’m thankful for) and I have no idea how it makes any sense, especially given the things that I am striving for and that I want right now. I believe that it takes faith to take my desires to the Lord, to trust Him with them. But its difficult, because it means I’m not in control and I might not get what I want. That isn’t my favorite idea, but it draws me back to a Father who is the giver of good gifts.

So what do you do? What is the answer? If you remember the parable about the three men who were given money, for a long time I related to the third servant. He buried the money and took no risk. He moved out of carefulness, not faith. I like rules and boundaries. I like cautious, but sometimes risk isn’t risk, its faith. That’s what I’m learning, to trust God with my want and step in faith.

I may not get the things I want. That will be really difficult. I may not understand the direction God is taking me right now or what is coming down the turnpike, but I can enjoy where He has me now and trust that He is teaching me about Himself and showing me His love. I was listening to Kari Jobe’s I Know That You Are For Me earlier today. The song talks about how God is for us. He is not fighting against us. The chorus is a reminder that sometimes the circumstances of our life may only be to remind us who God is and that is not only enough, but good. I know that God is for me and very much at work. I know He loves me and, although I still very much learning to believe this, I can trust Him with my desire and want.